Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
