i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just cropdusted the office
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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