so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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