he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
