Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
