you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
