New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
