Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
