What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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