he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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