I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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