She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
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