I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize