there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
soo... how was my night?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
