I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
