I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
