True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
