"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
