ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
