the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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