lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Randomize
