Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
