just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize
