Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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