I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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