I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
