you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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