thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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