So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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