I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
3 2 1 whiskey
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
