My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
