Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
