Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
