You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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