Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
