Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Randomize
