I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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