Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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