she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
