Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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