While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
