sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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