i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
