I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
