I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
