Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
