I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Randomize
