Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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