i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
