I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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