Banned from zoo.
Again?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
