She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize