woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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