He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
