Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
