she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
