Whod you bang
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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