Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
