actually, I'm a sock model
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
