Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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