I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
