just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
