Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Can Purell be used as lube?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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