if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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