He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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