you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
