Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
