Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
